The things kids say

[LAT]

not something a kid has said this time but it dd make me chuckle
As some of you know my son got home from 4 month's travelling round the world at the beginning of June. He has been living with us since then and commuting to work in London while he waits to find a place to live there with friends.
Yesterday there was some question whether he was going to be home in time to eat with us, and my husband wanted to know if I'd heard from him and if he needed to get an extra piece of fish out of the freezer to defrost. So he texted me "is Luke home for summer?" (he did follow this up with one saying "meant supper") but it made me giggle as though he had only just realised Luke was around every day!

[MBH]

As I'm getting older the 'kids' are older too

I had a good laugh this morning passing a local bakery where the young girl running the shop had put up a hand printed sign witten on a paper bag. She saw me smile (the slight outward sign of what was going on inside) and asked if she had made a mistake:

Pie's two 4 £1

I was too busy pointing out the oddity of spelling a number then using a number for a word that I totally missed the apostrophy in Pies

When I passed again she had fixed the numbers part but made the apostrophy 5 times bigger and more prominent

[Bunnylump]

I had to get really stroppy at work because they had a sign (which probably cost a fortune) on the FRONT of the school which said VISITORS ENTRANCE. Great advert for the school, I thought. I mentioned this as soon as the sign went up to one of the Assistant Headteachers. He replied "what's wrong with that?" I replied "It has no apostrophe". He replied "Ah, yes, you're quite right. There should be an apostrophe before that S, shouldn't there?" <Sigh> "Well, if you only expect one visitor, then that would be fine." I replied, and left him to it.

[Laura]

A school that I teach at had a giant monolith of a stone engraved with the school's name set up in the grounds a few years ago, which was completely accurate and everything, but a lot of the students complained that it had cost about £2000 which could have been spent on their education. The school came back with the reasoning of the advertising and the positive image of the school etc. etc.

I find it slightly amusing that the school has now changed to become an academy and had all their signs, noteheads etc. changed to say academy, and get very huffy if anyone still says 'school', yet they're stuck with the giant lump of rock advertising it to all the world under the old name!

[Bunnylump]

They do waste monumental amounts of money. I'm massively irritated that the school's money is so "pigeonholed", so, although they have had to make quite a few teachers redundant, they have still had money to "poncify" the front carpark (who cares about that?) and to put airconditioning in the headteacher's office. Oh yes, and because we are now, apparently, a "specialist arts college", we've had to have giant coloured banners made for each department, to give them "a unique identity"!!!! I'd personally prefer it if we had enough staff to teach the pupils, but there you go.

[gill216]

The most useless sign I have ever seen is the one that reads "Welcome to Hull Prison". Is it for the inmates? Very much doubt it. Is it for the visitors? I'm sure they've got things they'd much rather be doing. Or is it for the staff? Doubt they really want to be there either.

[giraffe]

ASDA are doing a charity thing at the moment. They give you a little plastic token when you pay which you put in one of three elaborate plastic boxes in the foyer where it goes down a series of shutes. The whole point is to vote for which local charity you would like them to support.

1. They were three not very appealing charities.
2. They must have spent quite a lot of money having these tokens and fancy boxes made, which I would far rather they had just given to one or more of the charities.

[Bunnylump]

They have them in Waitrose (without the chutes). But it's all things like the St Albans local guide hut and things like that. (Not that there's anything wrong with Guide huts, but there are probably slightly more important charities...)

[giraffe]

The most appealing of these was putting TVs in hospitals. Not actually providing medical treatment. The others were similar to guide huts, can't remember what, but I don't think they were as deserving as guide huts.

[Laura]

Again, not a thing a kid said, but this seemed the best place for it.

Imagine the situation... Brownies, salt dough, naive (and not particularly artistic) 9-year-old girl making the Eiffel Tower. The result was, erm, interesting???

[Bunnylump]

I'm just shocked that you would have thought of such a thing...

[Laura]

It was difficult not to as she was trying to make the silly thing stand up! I finally convinced her that she should lie it down until it had set. She's got to paint it next week; I can't see that it will get any better!!!!!

[Bunnylump]

I can imagine. It's really awful when you get the giggles about something rude when children are present, isn't it? It happens to me all the time!! Mind you (forgive me if I've already told you all this, can't remember) I did an absolute classic. I kept having to borrow a key to the meeting room next door to where a youngish male teacher (who is a real laugh) was teaching RE to some 6th formers. I sneaked back into his lesson, to get the key yet again. He broke off from teaching, and said to me
"Is it me you want, or the key?"

Without thinking, I replied (meaning the key hole) "Well, I would take you, but I doubt if you'd fit in the hole!"

Ever had one of those moments when you want the whole world to rewind by a few seconds so you can start again??

The teacher's shoulders started to shake and tears started to pour out of his eyes. The pupils were in hysterics.

I didn't live that one down for a very long time!!

[Bunnylump]

OK classic from a year 9 boy today. We were discussing cross breeding and adaptations of various animals. I told him that when I was on holiday in the Lake District, the farm had Herdwick sheep, which are hardier than most sheep and can live on foraging throughout the year in high altitudes and cold temperatures. He looked at me in amazement.

"You've been to America for your holidays, Miss?"

"No, I said I went to the Lake District."

"But aren't those big lakes in America?"

"Errr. are you thinking of the Great Lakes?"

"Yes, that's the Lake District, isn't it?"

"No, I mean the Lake District in Cumbria."

"Oh....I get you, Miss. You mean the place where they smuggle drugs from?"

"Er...no. I believe you are thinking of Columbia...."

[kathlyn]

It makes you wonder about their lack of general knowledge these days.

When we lived in USA my parents were staying with us and we used to go for a walk each morning. The school children often said hi when we passed them waiting for their school bus. On one day my dad was talking to one child of about 13 and he'd asked dad where he'd come from, he said England and then he asked the boy if he knew the capital of England. The boy looked a bit puzzled and then said Paris!!

Seems that our youngsters are going the same way!!

Heaven help us in the future.

[Bunnylump]

Today's classic during a science test. The question asked:

Bee stings are acidic, and wasp stings are alkaline.
What would be a good thing to neutralise a bee sting with?

Boy thought for a few minutes, and then volunteered "Um, a wasp sting?"

Well, I suppose that technically he could be right. But it does conjure up quite an image, doesn't it?

[gill216]

Grandson is growing up too fast! He was watching a quiz type show with Carol Vorderman and asked his mum how many points she had. (4000). His reply? " Not bad for a woman"!!!! I shall have words with him at xmas.

[Bunnylump]

I think that would possibly warrant presenting him with a whole plate of Brussels sprouts for his Christmas dinner, personally...

[gill216]

Nope, won't work. He loves "baby cabbages"- doesn't like sprouts though. Also likes niptur but doesn't like turnip.

I'm glad I'm not in charge of xmas dinner this year. Future DiL only likes veg that grows above ground and mother only likes root veg. Flamin awkward lot.

[Bunnylump]

I've got to cater for K's boyfriend, who can't have any pork or red meat products anywhere near what he eats. So no sausagemeat stuffing or bacon rolls with the turkey this year.