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Support thread.
Posted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 4:13 pm
by gill216
We seem to have a thread for all the happy occasions but not the sad ones. I'm sure we'd all like to support each other through the bad times as well as the good.
Snoopy, so sorry to hear that mum is not with you anymore. I'm sure memories will remain forever. Take care.
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 5:09 pm
by Bunnylump

Oh, you poor thing! My thoughts are with you and your family.
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Sat Jul 03, 2010 8:51 pm
by Biscuit
yes my thoughts are with you too.
I do not know what i will be like when faced with this situation but hopefully you can celebrate all the good and knowledge that she passed on to you

:):)
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 12:39 am
by pebbles
My thoughts are with you and your family, Snoopy.
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 12:46 pm
by Snoopy
Thank you all for your kind thoughts. I didn't live close to my mother whereas she stayed in the same area all her life. Considering she was 84 and nearly blind I was amazed at the number of groups she attended. They were to do with her local church, community and Macular club as well as the Active Seniors. Every time I phoned and invited her to stay for a few days she had to check her diary(which she kept on her computer). We visited as often as we could but the guilt has set in. Maybe I could have visited more. Although I have no brothers or sisters she had her brother and sister and their families close by and they kept an eye on her.
I am looking out at our new house being built. At Christmas she at last agreed to come and stay with us as her eyesight and breathing were getting worse.We said she could have a bedroom and a sitting room in the new house. She had told everyone she was moving and had started to decide what furniture to bring with her. Unfortunately I had to clear the house instead of her.
Sorry for rambling a bit but I don't think I appreciated how remarkable she was. She went back to school in her sixties and in 3 years she did 'o' level arithmatic (the same day as her grand-daughter), and standard grades in English and business accounting. She then learned from us about computers and from mid 1980's my mum and dad always had a computer.
Could I just say that I think this thread is a good idea. I don't really care if no one reads this - it helps a lot just to put down some thoughts.
Now I'm off to try and do some puzzles but thank you all again.
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 2:22 pm
by LAT
Sounds like your mother was pretty amazing Snoopy. I'm sorry to hear she has died, my thoughts are with you as you come to terms with this.
It sounds like she'd have had to give up some of her activities if you had visited her more often so I wouldn't feel guilty about that. She had a good life and I'm sure she appreciated seeing you when you could. Someone as used to filling her days would understand you had your own life to lead too.
Enjoy your memories and be proud to have had her as your mother.

Re: Support thread.
Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 3:01 pm
by Bunnylump
She sounds like she was a real proper character!

Don't beat yourself up over how many times you went to visit - as LAT says, she sounds like she had a really rich and full life, and I'm quite sure that she treasured her time with you. The fact that you were preparing to go the extra mile and have her to stay with you must have really meant a lot to her. It sounds to me like she was lucky to have you, and you were lucky to have her. One day, when the shock and pain has started to subside, you'll realise just what a special relationship this has been, and you'll remember her fondly.
If it helps to "splurge" - go for it! It's often quite cathartic to write down what you think, and even better if you can share your thoughts with friends.

So yes, I agree, this is a lovely idea to have started this thread, Gill. Good on you.
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:12 pm
by Bunnylump
Could I just say a big thank you to all those who have sent me messages of support via pm, text and phone. I really appreciate it - and it helps a lot.
For those of you who don't know, my Mum (and occasional test solver for PB!) sadly passed away yesterday. She was a wonderful mum, and we will miss her terribly. I went to her house today (to find paperwork needed for the death certificate) and came across this poem, beautifully hand copied in her wonderful caligraphy writing. It nearly broke my heart to read it, but at the same time made me reflect and smile. I'd like to share it with you, since I think the sentiment is wonderful.
You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she has left.
Your heart can be empty because you cannot see her
or can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy because of yesterday.
You can remember only that she's gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
or you can do what she'd want: smile,
open your eyes, love, and go on.
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:44 pm
by strep98
Wonderful words.
My Prayers are with you and yours.
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:57 pm
by eirian
that is wonderful, Bunny. Thank you so much for sharing that poem - if you don't mind, I'm going to pass it on to a friend who's just lost her Gran in similar circumstances to your own. Again, a lady who'll be greatly missed.
Thinking of you.
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 8:09 pm
by Bunnylump
No, I don't mind at all. It's worth sharing! The poem is by David Harkins (I just looked it up)!
My mum loved poetry and music. It was only last week she was reciting poems to my son from her hospital bed - all learned from memory over seventy years ago. She was also singing (despite being in terrible pain and discomfort) the Eriskay Love Lilt.

Re: Support thread.
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:02 pm
by LAT
She was obviously a very wonderful lady in many ways bunny.
Heed that poem and cherish all the great memories you have of her.
Lots of love
xx
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:08 pm
by Laura
Lots of love from me too. xxx
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:47 pm
by clvrlad
big hugs bunny xxxx
nearly met you again

Re: Support thread.
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:55 pm
by Bunnylump
I am really disappointed - I especially wanted to meet you, and the others who I've never met.
...oh, and to catch up with everyone I'd already met!!
Hey ho.
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 10:15 pm
by clvrlad
well gill's been volounteered to do the next one.....but dont mention i said
gill doesnt read the forum does she?

Re: Support thread.
Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 10:17 pm
by Bunnylump
You are evil...

Re: Support thread.
Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:33 am
by pebbles
Such a lovely poem! My thoughts are with you Bunny.
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 6:24 am
by clvrlad
Bunnylump wrote:You are evil...

moi evil.........well maybe a soupcon
Re: Support thread.
Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:13 pm
by Bunnylump
I've just received the most enormous and beautiful bouquet of flowers "from Puzzlebrains".
Thank you.
Even if you did set me off again...
