Harry Potter Thread
Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 4:50 pm
Since there are a hundred different things we all like, there are a few shared ones (Astronomy, Cookery, and Gardening being 3 of them) - so I thought it might be acceptable to have a Harry Potter thread since he tends to show up within other threads as well.
This would be an obvious place for news, links to good fanfics, and perhaps the odd puzzle thrown in here and there. [I know - I've put it in General but we can sneak puzzles in
]
The reason for this thread now? Working in the Library (probably sneaking into the Restricted Section) I came across Harry Pottiness - a totally unofficial Book of Muggle Fun I wasn't sure how many of my fellow fans would find it so I thought I'd share.
Loads of jokes of true Christmas Cracker standard - I'll give a few with answers and then see how you do with the others.... such as:
Where did Dobby learn tai-kwon-do? At elf-defence classes
Which spell gets rid of B.O? Exsmelliramus
What secret language to postal workers use? Parceltongue
... you get the idea
There is a page of announcements from Kings Cross station including:
"This is a platform change announcement. Due to new ministry regulations, Platform Nine and Three Quarters will in future be referred to as Platform Nine Point Seven Five"
A page of limericks went some way to showing the old adage that funny ones are rude and clean ones need to work a lot harder to be funny, but I did like:
There once was a Chaser called Randall
Whose temper caused many a scandal.
He would loop, swoop and zoom
On his super-cool broom,
Then lose it, and fly off the handle
There is one about Lupin that I question it's publishing in this children's book - but perhaps I'm reading too much into it
There's a list of characters that we didn't meet in the books...
The doddering geriatric gardener at Hogwarts - Trevor Oldmold
The Scottish delivery boy Todd Harlek
Madame Pomfrey's assistant - Dr Dermot Vollo
A muggle living near the Dursleys - Mr Lovedot
and another Animagus giving advice on pets Ben Dowth, The Mouse-Man
Make of these characters what you may 
Musically there is a top-ten of the Potter Pops:-
At number 10 - "Spinning Around" by Aragog and the Web weavers.
Just above that at number 9 - "Dancing in the Moonlight" by Remus 'The Prof' Lupin
all the way through the list to
At Number One - "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" by Professor Quirrell
[I've got to admit I laughedd out loud at number 7 - Fred 'N' George with "It Wasn't Me" ]
We could probably figure out positions 11 to 100 between the rest of us. I'm going for "Turn To Stone" by The Basilisk Hunters and a sneaky entry from Hagrid with "How much is that Horntail in the Window?"
I'll skip over the next page which has songs to sing on the Knight Bus - "There's a hole in my cauldron" and "Old McGonagall had a charm" gives a flavour
Two pages of bogus book titles - but we've done as well or better in the past. In fact Fan-Fiction have done far better AND written the story. One I'll certainly avoid is Harry Potterer and the Uneventful Term
There are various pages I'm simply not mentioning at all - but now we come to the one that did it for me. RULES for language - 4 steps to (im)perfect Latin Spells.
So if I fancy dealing with a pest by having them, change into a gigantic frog
Step 1 - remove any of the words 'a', 'an', or 'the'
OK - who's croaking? 
OK - I promised a puzzle - in the book it offered the possible answers, but you lot don't need them:
MAD RACY FOOL
CROOKEDLY ALRIGHT
SAVE UP SNEERS
CALM LOVING MANAGER
SLYLY RUDE DUDE
OLD DEER BUM
SLIPPER SUNROOF
MEAN HERRING OGRE
EASILY UPTURNED
Hope you're enjoying or ignoring this depending on your personal tastes
Share any other fun or ideas from the Potter Universe created by JKR (and now many others). It is traditional when quoting from other works to state the author - but all the above was written "NOT by J.K. Rowling" - Yes - that's what the book cover says.
This would be an obvious place for news, links to good fanfics, and perhaps the odd puzzle thrown in here and there. [I know - I've put it in General but we can sneak puzzles in
]The reason for this thread now? Working in the Library (probably sneaking into the Restricted Section) I came across Harry Pottiness - a totally unofficial Book of Muggle Fun
I wasn't sure how many of my fellow fans would find it so I thought I'd share.Loads of jokes of true Christmas Cracker standard - I'll give a few with answers and then see how you do with the others.... such as:
Where did Dobby learn tai-kwon-do? At elf-defence classes
Which spell gets rid of B.O? Exsmelliramus
What secret language to postal workers use? Parceltongue
... you get the idea
There is a page of announcements from Kings Cross station including:
"This is a platform change announcement. Due to new ministry regulations, Platform Nine and Three Quarters will in future be referred to as Platform Nine Point Seven Five"
A page of limericks went some way to showing the old adage that funny ones are rude and clean ones need to work a lot harder to be funny, but I did like:
There once was a Chaser called Randall
Whose temper caused many a scandal.
He would loop, swoop and zoom
On his super-cool broom,
Then lose it, and fly off the handle
There is one about Lupin that I question it's publishing in this children's book - but perhaps I'm reading too much into it
There's a list of characters that we didn't meet in the books...
The doddering geriatric gardener at Hogwarts - Trevor Oldmold
The Scottish delivery boy Todd Harlek
Madame Pomfrey's assistant - Dr Dermot Vollo
A muggle living near the Dursleys - Mr Lovedot
and another Animagus giving advice on pets Ben Dowth, The Mouse-Man
Make of these characters what you may
Musically there is a top-ten of the Potter Pops:-
At number 10 - "Spinning Around" by Aragog and the Web weavers.
Just above that at number 9 - "Dancing in the Moonlight" by Remus 'The Prof' Lupin
all the way through the list to
At Number One - "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" by Professor Quirrell
[I've got to admit I laughedd out loud at number 7 - Fred 'N' George with "It Wasn't Me"
]We could probably figure out positions 11 to 100 between the rest of us. I'm going for "Turn To Stone" by The Basilisk Hunters and a sneaky entry from Hagrid with "How much is that Horntail in the Window?"
I'll skip over the next page which has songs to sing on the Knight Bus - "There's a hole in my cauldron" and "Old McGonagall had a charm" gives a flavour
Two pages of bogus book titles - but we've done as well or better in the past. In fact Fan-Fiction have done far better AND written the story. One I'll certainly avoid is Harry Potterer and the Uneventful Term
There are various pages I'm simply not mentioning at all - but now we come to the one that did it for me. RULES for language - 4 steps to (im)perfect Latin Spells.
So if I fancy dealing with a pest by having them, change into a gigantic frog
Step 1 - remove any of the words 'a', 'an', or 'the'
Step 2 - move describing words to go after the thing they describechange into gigantic frog
Step 3 - If the word inds with one or more vowels, remove themchange into frog gigantic
Step 4 - add one of the endings from this list into each word: atis / ae / emus / ior / itis / ius / ia / orum / ori / um / uschang int frog gigantic
changior intae frogorum giganticus
OK - who's croaking? OK - I promised a puzzle - in the book it offered the possible answers, but you lot don't need them:
MAD RACY FOOL
CROOKEDLY ALRIGHT
SAVE UP SNEERS
CALM LOVING MANAGER
SLYLY RUDE DUDE
OLD DEER BUM
SLIPPER SUNROOF
MEAN HERRING OGRE
EASILY UPTURNED
Hope you're enjoying or ignoring this depending on your personal tastes
Share any other fun or ideas from the Potter Universe created by JKR (and now many others). It is traditional when quoting from other works to state the author - but all the above was written "NOT by J.K. Rowling" - Yes - that's what the book cover says.