The things kids say

[Bunnylump]

OK I keep threatening to start one of these up, so here it is.

Latest dim* kid comment:

The pupils were doing a presentation in English on life in medieval times. One of the girls was pretending to be a nun. At the end of her presentation, the class were asked to give her "character" some questions. One of them asked:

"What made you decide to become a nun?"

"Well", she replied, I was inspired by my mother, who was also a nun."

Clearly her mother wasn't a very good nun...

*"Dim" is a specialist term used by Learning Support Staff, obviously.

[clvrlad]

well i suppose her mum could have become a nun later in life after raising a child....

[Wulfruna]

.... not a very likely scenario.....!

[Scurra]

You didn't tell me you were planning on becoming a nun!

[Wulfruna]

You didn't tell me you were planning on becoming a nun!

Hey... don't tell me you thought I was an evil jester all the time......

[Bunnylump]

I was down the town shopping this afternoon, and was astounded when a young chavvy looking 9 year old opened the door for me. I said "Thank you very much!"

He replied "Oh I wasn't opening it for you. My brother's behind you and he's got all my money!!"

I did laugh.

[MBH]

Love it!


I need to post the child's description of Nuuk - the capital city of Greenland. If anyone has a record of it (because I've posted it elsewhere), the pop it on - if not I'll grab it the next time I'm at work (as it was typed on one of the laptops on the computer bus).

It is classic 'child logic', but I won't spoil it by trying to guess/remember what she said

[SparkOut]

I had to hunt back for this thread, but yesterday was too good NOT to pass on.

Fun and games at work with 36 kids aged 10-11 on my bus doing some Power Point - (4 groups of 9 with an hour each group). Each child had a country name and a couple of pages of research, and needed to put a few pages of a presentation together. Some good, some poor, some far more interested in changing colours than typing anything but I had to share the following information regarding Greenland:

Capital City

At the end of Greenland is a little capital city called Nuuk, it is the easiest to spell out of all the cities so that might be why the Denmark king said it would be the captial, because he probably couldn't pronounce the other cities!

(SIC)

Not very professional rolling up and down the bus laughing, but what the hell

I've applied for her future membership of the DVP forum - she'd fit right in here

(Strikethrough of the last sentence added by me)

[Bunnylump]

Oh that is absolutely classic, isn't it?? Marvellous.

[MBH]

LOL - ask and it shall be delivered.... Cheers Sparkout

[tricia]

How about this one I heard - a teacher asked the kids "Why did mary and Joseph take the baby Jesus to Jerusalem?" To which one child quickly ansered "Because they couldn't get a babysitter."

Tricia

[giraffe]

Lally has been asked by school to learn the piano accompaniments to four hymns to play in assembly as the headmistress has just discovered she is quite good on the piano. She has learnt the first one, so started the next one. I recognised it, but the only words that I could put to the tune were " Johnny was a paratrouper in the RAF" which I suspected were not the official words. So I asked her what the words were and I misheard her. The second line sounded suspiciously like " The wisemen in the pub demanded shepherds' pie" (There are wisemen filled with wonder, shepherds with surprise)

[Bunnylump]

Love it!

[MBH]

He jumped from 20,000 feet forgot to pull the cord.....

Yep - Classic

[Bunnylump]

Oh and they are rolling in now. This afternoon I was with my friend - their sons were playing a general knowledge game. Most of the kids I know (including my own) might have lots of qualifications, but they have no common sense and no general knowledge. The question was
"Can you name a country which sounds like you could eat it at Christmas?"

One came up with
"Greece?"
and the other one, after a great deal of thought came up with
"Wales?"
I'm SO glad I'm not going there for Christmas dinner!!!

[Bunnylump]

Year 9 science examinations.
The Question was - "How are pond lilies adapted for living in the pond?"
Sophie: "They've got really big flat leaves specially so that frogs can sit on them".

I did refrain from asking if she'd tried kissing one to see if it turned into a prince...

The question was- "Why can you not solely use the above table to classify Ganymede as either a moon or a planet?" (the table had things like diameter and atmosphere in it)

Connah "Because it doesn't tell us how many people are living on it. If it had people we'd know it must be a planet." Does he know something I don't??

Don't you just love them?

[strep98]

My eldest son in year 6 exam and given an award for the daftest answer to a question on the awards night.

What is pondlife called? An aardvak (got a point for spelling it correctly)

I'm so proud (of the spelling of course)

[Bunnylump]

This cheered up an otherwise horrid day...

We were discussing Gothic Horror in English with the year 8s. They had been asked to read a passage and highlight typical features of the genre (darkness, supernatural, spooky castle etc). The teacher went round the class asking for contributions, and I wrote them on the board. One of the suggestions was "unexpected presence". I heard one bright spark pipe up from the back of the class "Miss, does that mean this is set at Christmas then?"

Oh yes, and while I think of it, I need some help. The bottom of the bottom set (AKA the lowest of the low ) for Science year 11 were supposed to be learning the top few lines of the periodic table, as far as Nickel. The teacher had asked them to make up their own mnemonic to help them to remember the order. Naturally, as there are a lot of kids with speech and language problems (and behaviour problems) in there they found this very difficult (or at least difficult to do without using obscenities and sexual references - they're mostly boys. )

SO, a virtual prize for the best funniest and most memorable mnemonic will be awarded. (And even though some of you are boys too that is not a reason to include sexual references - tsk tsk, some of you are almost as bad as the year 11s... )

[Scurra]

I know this is second nature to those of you (a) teaching or (b) with children, but what age are Year 8 pupils? Does the "Sixth Form" no longer exist? Indeed, what are Sixth Form Colleges called, in that case?

(I imagine it's some sort of attempt to resemble the US "grade" system, but I never understood that, either.)

[Bunnylump]

Year 8 are like year 2 at secondary school when we were at school, so age 12-13. So my horrid year 11s are just about to take their GCSEs and are aged 15-16. And are, as you can imagine, stuffed full of hormones. Confusingly, however, the 6th form is still called the 6th form, even though they are actually years 12-14. Confused? I know I am.

I think the thinking goes that children start in nursery aged 3-4, then reception class at age 4-5, then the next year is year 1 and it goes up from there. Although to me it would have made far more sense to have started with nursery being year 1. But there you go.

I bet you're really glad you asked now?