Puzzlebrains

My English teacher (one of only two men in an all girls school) would have taken great pains to explain the term dirty books to us in detail! I remember him explaining all the rude jokes in Romeo and Juliet that would have gone straight over our heads.

To Scurra
Well, you might think that, but actually, knowing this particular lad, I doubt it. What can I tell you, he's a Doctor Who fan...who doesn't bat a eyelid about the comments he gets about his Dalek backpack...

To Giraffe: I had to explain about the "glove fulla vaseline"!! to a year 11 boy. He was quite horrified.

horrified at the explanation or at you telling him?

So I can put my wine consumption down to ancient Greek research can I?

Bunnylump wrote:Well, you might think that, but actually, knowing this particular lad, I doubt it. What can I tell you, he's a Doctor Who fan...who doesn't bat a eyelid about the comments he gets about his Dalek backpack...

Fair enough. I can understand that.

Prepared to bet, however, that you knew all about "dirty books" too...

LAT wrote:horrified at the explanation or at you telling him?

So I can put my wine consumption down to ancient Greek research can I?
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Probably horrified at me telling him (and me understanding the implications whereas he hadn't.)

And re wine consumption, yes, definitely, but I wouldn't have said you looked THAT old...

you haven't seen me recently bunny!

Me: "So, what does the word "rural" mean?"

A-M: "I don't know, Miss."

Me: "Now remember, you've learned two different terms, one was URBAN and the other was RURAL. "Urban" means it's "built up". So what do you think RURAL might mean?"

A-M : "Does it mean built down?"
<sigh> Ask a stupid question...

No such thing as stupid questions - but there are stupid answers. He'll understand 'Rural' when a country village idiot passes on and they ask him to take the job

Bunnylump wrote:he's a Doctor Who fan...who doesn't bat a eyelid about the comments he gets about his Dalek backpack...

He just exterminates those that comment


All you 'education' people may not be back in time for CBBC [OK - the only reason I know is because they covered it on local radio today], but they're showing a series called Extreme Schools. Taking a couple of kids with 'attitude' and sending them somewhere else for a week.

The reason our radio was highlighting it was because one episode has a pair of Newcastle girls who get shipped off to a convent school in some tropical island. NOT sure how good a trick that was - I've only seen the first 10 mins of it, and there are a couple of classic lines in there already.

Not really something a kid has said but one of the children my daughter is teaching in China is a three year old boy called Doctor!

Mind you apparently there is a Chinese chap who is interested in making contact with K. His name is Lucifer!!
I gather she isn't interested. Such a shame as I could enjoy telling people my daughter was on a date with Lucifer.

Yes, that would have been quite cool!!

On the contrary - rather hot, I would imagine

Today's classic:

Teacher: "So, in the book, Walt is talking about a brothel. I take it you all know what a brothel is?"
boy (year 10) It's a kind of soup, Miss.

I think he was thinking of broth... Close, but no cigar...

It does sound like the type of bottle you get broth in - now I come to think about it.

I'm wondering if I'm more disturbed by the quote "I take it you all know what a brothel is?"

Yes I was shocked by that, and impressed by the child knowing what broth was.

We were trying to get the students to understand the difference between vertebrates and invertebrates. James put his hand up.

"Isn't a vertebrate just an animal which can stand up for itself?"

"Errr... how did you arrive at that conclusion, James?" asked the teacher.

"Well, didn't you say that a vertebrate is an animal with a backbone?"

It's little gems like that which make it all worthwhile. Oh, and all the cards and presents from the departing year 11 SEN kids - at least THEY appreciate our work (unlike the Senior Leadership Team! )

This isn't an amusing annecdote, just one which made me smile. I have spent three years working in English with a particular student who needs a scribe. He's a lovely lad but is prone to "going off with the fairies", getting distracted from the task in hand and waffling for Britain.

I scribed for his first English Literature exam yesterday. All I can say is, I was REALLY proud of him. I have to keep a completely straight face and give nothing away, give no clues as to what is right and what is wrong, and have to write EXACTLY what he dictates, even if it is nonsense.

After the end of each paragraph, he kept saying

"it's OK Miss, I KNOW what you're thinking. You've nagged me often enough. Now I have to re read it and make sure I've done POINT, EVIDENCE, EXPLAIN. Then I need to focus in on the specific language and pick out individual words. Then I need to refer back to the question, and finally I have to check my punctuation otherwise you will rip my arms and legs off and beat me about the head with them."

I had said NOTHING.

Did you get all that down on the answer sheet?

Did you write that down as well?

Best comeback line I've ever heard from an 8 year old in a tussle with another.

"Somebody made a mistake when they created you!"

I regularly say that about my son...

Jeez, this exam season is about to finish me off and it only started last week. Today I spent 2 hours doing a TYPED transcript of a 6th former's script for a geography exam which lasted for 1 and a half hours. I type at about 45 wpm. Work that one out!!!