Puzzlebrains

I just found some of these on the internet and wondered if anyone had any more they could add. Basically, the idea is that you change just one letter of a word and give it a new definition.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic Fit (n..): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


And one especially for Giraffe...

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

...Just thought of

DIVVING - That thing that teenagers do in swimming pools right in front of you as you are trying to, um...swim.

or how about

STOCKPING That thing which happens when your suspenders suddenly give up the ghost

or

GLUMBOOTS the ones you know you'll need to get out because the nice weather has finished

or

CATNIT what your pusscat does when they get on your lap. Ouch.

I could do this for a very long time. It's keeping me amused, anyway...

Oh, and
DUMPLES the small dents in your thigh where the cellulite is.

Having just seen the ad for the Hairy Bikers' Bakation, I was reminded of this thread. So here are a few more for you.

CRAB DRIVER - That really grumpy taxi driver who charges you over the odds and can't see the funny side of you being "merry" after a night out.

SHAMPEDE - overly zealous hairdressers attending a hair product promotion

SWEEZE - a special term devoted to all those ladies of a certain age who are adversely affected following an explosive, spasmodic involuntary action resulting chiefly from irritation of the nasal mucous membrane.

SANDWITH - what you have during a picnic on the beach

BANG GLIDERS - The ones which didn't quite catch the thermal.

FOOTBALK - Not being able to believe how much soccer there is on the TV, all the time.

I'm on a roll now. Somebody stop me...!

MENOPAUSED - Those who are having HRT

SHEEPSKING - Scurra