Puzzlebrains

This was something I started on the DVP Forum, based on something I saw in The Times one Saturday.
Basically, you take the title of a bestselling book and tweak it slightly to turn it into a bargain-bin trash novel.
So The Da Vinci Code becomes the much less popular The DaVina McCall Code.

For a start, here is the reworked version of the J. K. Rowling canon:
Harry Potter and the Philatelist's Stone: You-know-who tries to take over the world through the dark magic of stamp collecting.
Harry Potter and the Chamberpot Secrets: Just what do people do with them nowadays?
Harry Potter and the Pensioner of Azkaban : A student wizard meets his great-grandfather.
Harry Potter and the Gobbler of Ire: A boy wizard has to face a malicious turkey.
Harry Potter and the Disorder of the Pharynx: A boy wizard gets a very bad sore throat.
Harry Potter and the Half-Cut Prince: The Yule Ball is ruined by an embarrassing drunk royal wearing inappropriate fancy dress.
Harry Potter and the Deadly Mallows: You-know-who tries to kill all good wizards with poisoned sweets.

The Lords of the Bling - all about hip-hop rappers
Bridget Jones' Dairy - a ditzy thirty-something tries to learn how to milk cows

Interesting Times A guide on how to make it look like you're fascinated by the headlines when a loony is trying to make eye contact on the train.

A tale of Two Titties Dolly Parton's latest autobiography.

Odd - I'd heard about that as

A Sale of Two Titties - a historical investigation into Jordan's shopping lists

Oliver's Twist - Celebrity Cook learns to Dance
Hard Tomes - issues of Puzzlebrains
David Copafeel - can't seem to track this one down to summarise it for you
Knickerless Nickleby - Engrossing tale of a young man's search for underwear

Rates of Passage A guide to trotting and trotting avoidance.
and on a similar vein..
An Artist of the Floating World Songs to sing on the loo.

The Handmaid's Pale

...must stop. Children present. One of whom is 48. Apologies, but toilet humour is about my level.

I saw this on a greetings card:
Harry Pointer and the Philosopher's Bone (written by J. K. Growling!)
- others in the series might be
Harry Pointer and the Prisoner of Alsatian
Harry Pointer and the Half-Bloodhound, Prince
Any ideas for the rest?

Dan Brown - The Lost Cymbal - Heartbreaking story of Ringos drumkit.

In line with the theme of Issue 11, here are some Bashed Sherlock Holmes stories:

A Study in Car Lots - Who murdered the owner of a multi-storey car park?
The Sign of Ford - Plans for a new car go missing
The Hound of the Basketballs - A sports team's canine mascot is stolen
A Sandal in Bohemia - Someone is stealing the footwear of travellers
The Dancing Sven - Ericsson is abducted while training for Strictly Come Dancing.
The Sussex Umpire - Dirty dealings at a cricket match

The adventure of the Cardboard Boxers A cautionary tale about the dangers of skimping on fabric conditioner.

The Adventure of Wisteria Lane In which Gabby actually does finish off the gardener.

The Adventure of the Creeping Man A story written by Scurra shortly after forgetting his Mum's birthday.