Not really a game, but...
- Bunnylump
- Granny Boingybott
- Posts: 24876
- Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:10 pm
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Not really a game, but...
I found these on the internet and thought they were clever. See how many you can get. ( I did cut a couple out, hence crazy numbering!)
EXAMPLE1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a
4. A backward poet writes
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
6. A chicken crossing the road:
7. If you don't pay your exorcist
8. With her marriage she got a new name and
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't
14. Local Area Network in Australia :
15. He broke into song because he couldn't
16. A calendar's days
17. A lot of money is tainted:
18. A boiled egg is
19. He had a photographic memory which was
20. A plateau is a high form of
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison:
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a
27. Santa's helpers are
28. Acupuncture: a
30. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was (??????)He acquired his size from too much pi.
31. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an
32. She was only a whisky maker, but he
33. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
34. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a
35. No matter how much you push the envelope,
36. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was
37. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up
38. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
39. Atheism is a
40. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other,
41. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then
42. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
43. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said,
44. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
45. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a
46. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice
EXAMPLE1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a
4. A backward poet writes
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
6. A chicken crossing the road:
7. If you don't pay your exorcist
8. With her marriage she got a new name and
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't
14. Local Area Network in Australia :
15. He broke into song because he couldn't
16. A calendar's days
17. A lot of money is tainted:
18. A boiled egg is
19. He had a photographic memory which was
20. A plateau is a high form of
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison:
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a
27. Santa's helpers are
28. Acupuncture: a
30. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was (??????)He acquired his size from too much pi.
31. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an
32. She was only a whisky maker, but he
33. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
34. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a
35. No matter how much you push the envelope,
36. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was
37. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up
38. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
39. Atheism is a
40. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other,
41. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then
42. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
43. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said,
44. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
45. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a
46. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.”
“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.”
Re: Not really a game, but...
I don't suppose many people will get 3. Scurra will probably struggle. And Eirian will have no chance at all!
- eirian
- Posts: 944
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- Location: wishing I was curled up in bed
Re: Not really a game, but...
Perseverance: - the courage to ignore the obvious wisdom and carry on anyway
Re: Not really a game, but...
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a I think we all know this one!
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN Down Under
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat. (Like this oldie!)
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
30. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was (??????)He acquired his size from too much pi. Sir Cumference
31. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
35. No matter how much you push the envelope, it remains stationery.
37. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
38. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. (Even older than the boiled egg one!)
40. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, I'll hang around here, while you go on a head. (Tommy Cooper??)
42. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the grass.
43. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "There's only a little change."
44. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
46. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN Down Under
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat. (Like this oldie!)
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
30. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was (??????)He acquired his size from too much pi. Sir Cumference
31. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
35. No matter how much you push the envelope, it remains stationery.
37. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
38. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. (Even older than the boiled egg one!)
40. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, I'll hang around here, while you go on a head. (Tommy Cooper??)
42. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the grass.
43. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "There's only a little change."
44. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
46. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
Re: Not really a game, but...
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your count that votes
(I know this one is wrong, but...)
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you the orchestra pit
27. Santa's helpers are elf service
36. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was arrested for littering in a public place
(I know this one is wrong, but...)
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you the orchestra pit
27. Santa's helpers are elf service
36. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was arrested for littering in a public place
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
All of my puzzles are simple and obvious. For certain values of "simple" and "obvious".
All of my puzzles are simple and obvious. For certain values of "simple" and "obvious".
Re: Not really a game, but...
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you a flat miner
Re: Not really a game, but...
41. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it struck me
7. If you don't pay your exorcist it'll come back to haunt you?
7. If you don't pay your exorcist it'll come back to haunt you?
Re: Not really a game, but...
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the right key???
- Cenwulf
- The Complete Fool
- Posts: 1350
- Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2008 8:17 pm
- Currently reading: Schott's Miscellanies
- Location: South Wessex
Re: Not really a game, but...
7. If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was completely re-covered.
19. He had a photographic memory which was still at the developer's.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
32. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was completely re-covered.
19. He had a photographic memory which was still at the developer's.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
32. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
Unfortunately, the number of ways of doing something wrong far exceed the number of ways of doing it right. G. Kasparov
16000 - 30/03/2017
neves-ytnewt rebmun rebmem suomynona srelzzup
16000 - 30/03/2017
neves-ytnewt rebmun rebmem suomynona srelzzup
- Bunnylump
- Granny Boingybott
- Posts: 24876
- Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:10 pm
- Currently reading: Go Set a Watchman
- Location: Treacle Bumstead
Re: Not really a game, but...
What a clever lot you all are. Lots of right answers, and some which I prefer to the real ones! I'll leave it a week and then post what the real answers were!
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.”
“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.”
- Cenwulf
- The Complete Fool
- Posts: 1350
- Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2008 8:17 pm
- Currently reading: Schott's Miscellanies
- Location: South Wessex
Re: Not really a game, but...
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Unfortunately, the number of ways of doing something wrong far exceed the number of ways of doing it right. G. Kasparov
16000 - 30/03/2017
neves-ytnewt rebmun rebmem suomynona srelzzup
16000 - 30/03/2017
neves-ytnewt rebmun rebmem suomynona srelzzup
Re: Not really a game, but...
6. A chicken crossing the road: a fowl proceeding.
45. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
45. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
Re: Not really a game, but...
Finally figured out the first part of 39 after much thought. Not sure what the rest is supposed to be though.
39 Atheism is a non-prophet ...
39 Atheism is a non-prophet ...
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
All of my puzzles are simple and obvious. For certain values of "simple" and "obvious".
All of my puzzles are simple and obvious. For certain values of "simple" and "obvious".
- Bunnylump
- Granny Boingybott
- Posts: 24876
- Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:10 pm
- Currently reading: Go Set a Watchman
- Location: Treacle Bumstead
Re: Not really a game, but...
Again, great answers folks! I'll post the "real" ones next week.
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.”
“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.”
- Bunnylump
- Granny Boingybott
- Posts: 24876
- Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:10 pm
- Currently reading: Go Set a Watchman
- Location: Treacle Bumstead
Re: Not really a game, but...
As promised. I still prefer some of your answers though!!
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
30. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
31. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
32. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
33. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
34. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
35. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
36. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
37. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
38. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
39. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
40. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
41. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
42. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
43. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
44. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
45. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
46. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
30. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
31. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
32. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
33. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
34. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
35. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
36. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
37. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
38. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
39. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
40. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
41. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
42. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
43. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
44. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
45. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
46. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.”
“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.”
Re: Not really a game, but...
Excellent, thank you for those! They remind me of another joke - a lady goes into a shop and asks for a double-entendre, and the shopkeeper gives her one.
- Bunnylump
- Granny Boingybott
- Posts: 24876
- Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:10 pm
- Currently reading: Go Set a Watchman
- Location: Treacle Bumstead
Re: Not really a game, but...
Love it!
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.”
“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.”
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