The things kids say

[LAT]

That made me giggle!

[chazzie]

Yep - brought a smile to my face this morning!!

[Bunnylump]

Any relation to Bassbloke?

[chazzie]

Why what colour is his hair

quickly slipping and sliding away

Brought back good memories - that photo

[Bunnylump]

Ouch! You are rotten.

And yes, it did me too. Shame some blighter had stolen the jigsaw pieces I'd painstakingly planted in the morning...

[LAT]

Probably somebody thought they'd win a prize if they could find all the pieces and put them together.

[giraffe]

Not something a child said, but words of wisdom from a friend that lives in Japan. (This just seemed the most appropriate place to put it)

Japanese women call retired husbands "wet leaves in autumn" because they fall off the tree in the autumn of their lives and then lie around sticking to their wives' feet and getting in their way!!

[LAT]

That is so true!

[Bunnylump]

I did have to laugh at one of our year 12s the other day. He was finding it difficult keeping up with his notes in his AS levels. So I asked him "why don't you use your dictaphone? That's what you've got it for!!""

To my surprise, he burst out laughing, and I couldn't understand why. I asked him what was making him laugh about that. He went red and said "it's a bit rude miss."

Even more perplexed, I said, "go on then, tell me. What's so funny?"

He replied "I wanted to say "no, I use my finger like anyone else!"

[LAT]

great!
I'm impressed he actually told you though.

[MBH]

LOL - it's an old joke (in a variety of forms), but I'm surprised he admitted what was going through his head.

[Bunnylump]

Some of these kids - they do make me laugh. They SHOULDN'T, because ultimately they are being inappropriate on so many levels. Today one of our cheekier year 11s said to Janet (who is ginger haired)

"Miss, I have a joke. It's not personal."

Janet braced herself, wondering what on Earth was coming...

"What do you call a ginger prostitute?"

"Orange Pay as You Go!!"

Wrong on SO many levels. But funny nonetheless.

[Bunnylump]

We were having an interactive whiteboard fitted in our teaching room today, so there were workmen drilling in the wall and the ceiling to install the projector. I was trying to teach a year 7 pupil all about the Feudal System in my office next door, which, as you can imagine, was challenging because he kept getting distracted . He asked me what they were doing, so I told him we were having surround sound and disco lights fitted. He believed me!! As he left, he said "So, what is it they are putting in the ceiling? Is that where the mirrorball is going??"

[Laura]

The question is, is it a reflection on him that he believed you would do that, or is it a reflexion on you?!?!?

[Bunnylump]

Oh, I'd LOVE to have a disco in our rooms. We could have a work out after work on a Friday. And guess what? One of our newest Teaching Assistants is also a DJ. It's all coming together nicely...

[Laura]

The question is, is it a reflection on him that he believed you would do that, or is it a reflexion on you?!?!?

I've just read this back. What on earth is going on with my spelling?!?!?!?!

[Bunnylump]

You obviously haven't got enough discos in your classrooms to keep your mind sharp...

[clvrlad]

The question is, is it a reflection on him that he believed you would do that, or is it a reflexion on you?!?!?

I've just read this back. What on earth is going on with my spelling?!?!?!?!

spelling??

oh wait firefox noticed when i quoted you...

[Bunnylump]

Thing is, Clvrlad, your spelling is FINE just as long as you imagine it's a special tin dog language which is unique only to you. We know what you mean.

[Bunnylump]

It is hateful exam season. So stress levels are at an all time high in our department. Today has been the usual catalogue of disasters
ANOTHER pupil with a broken hand to contend with.

A PE exam which we had to split into two sessions, one at 11am - meaning that we had to keep those kids totally separate from all the others, in a boiling hot room, unable to use their phones or the internet or to go to the canteen until 2 30pm. (Nightmare).

We had three invigilators who didn't turn up (but then who can blame them, the school only pays them £7 an hour!!

The exams officer forgot to tell two of the pupils that their exam had been brought forward, so I had to do hasty rescheduling as the exam started, changing everyone's lunch breaks and drafting in new staff.

One of the laptops which was being used by one of the pupils for the exam started to malfunction half way though it.

Another boy only told us at the END of his exam that he had a trapped nerve in his neck which meant he couldn't feel his fingers. When we checked his paper, nobody could read it, so I had to transcribe it.

But after all this horrible stress, I did have to laugh. One of the lads was jiggling about. One of my members of staff asked if he was OK.
"Well, no Miss, I really need a wee."

"Why didn't you ask? I'll escort you!" she replied.

"But that's the problem, Miss, I don't want you to watch me pee!!!" Silly s*d thought she would come into the CUBICLE with him!!!