Holiday complaints

[Looby]

From the Telegraph, 20 complaints by holiday makers:

A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".
A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
"The beach was too sandy."
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."
"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."
"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."
"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."
"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."
"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"
"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."
"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."
"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."
"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."
"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."
"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."
"On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."
"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

[giraffe]

How did they manage to book a holiday if they are that thick? (Thought of using a euphemism for thick, but decided that only thick would do)

[Scurra]

At times like this I always remember the immortal quote from George Carlin:

Think of how stupid the average person is.
Then remember that half the population are more stupid than that...

[Bunnylump]

THAT is truly scary. And sadly, almost certainly true. When we were on holiday in Devon, the air -sea rescue helicopter was called because two children had been swept away on a dinghy by a current. In the paper later that week there was a letter to the editor saying how disgraceful it was that the helicopter had "blown sand into our picnic and completely ruined our sandwiches".

[kathlyn]

Some people should never leave their own houses, never mind having a passport and being alowed to go to a foreign country and eat foreign food.

[LAT]

Or better still, let them go abroad but don't let them back into the UK.

[MBH]

Great stories Looby.

"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

Definitely the shallow end of the gene pool

[Laura]

I remember watching the BBC news reporting that 'almost half of the British population are below average' in something or other, and that the government thought that something should be done about this.

It's nearly as bad as the political correctness gone mad of saying that everyone who runs in a race has won.

[clvrlad]

It's nearly as bad as the political correctness gone mad of saying that everyone who runs in a race has won.

i loved sports day
the first year i was the only person who turned up for the long distance running so won by defaul only year i did like

[LAT]

My father's office once held a sports day for the children. In my age group there were only three entrants for most of the events; my very athletic friend, me and one other. And since the other girl didn't bother with some of the events I came away with an armful of second and third prizes . It was almost the only time I won anything at a sports day.

[giraffe]

They come out with things like 20 % of children live in poverty, but then define poverty as so much below average income, which means that every time average income rises the figure for poverty rises too. So if you raised the income of the people living in poverty they would still be in poverty. Not that I'm saying the poorest shouldn't be helped, just that it is a stupid way to measure poverty.

[Bunnylump]

The only sports event I ever entered into was the 100 metres when I was 11. I actually had the fastest 100 metres time in my year (mainly because I was about 6 inches taller than all the other girls), but in the actual sports day I pulled a muscle after about 3 strides, (they didn't tell us useful things like we needed to warm up) did a hop - skip and jump and landed in a heap on the floor. I took so much stick for that (comments like " you weren't in the triple jump, you know") that I never went to another PE lesson. Bunked off every one for 5 years. Bizarre thing was that they never noticed, and used to write things like "Satisfactory" in my report.

[gill216]

Bizarre thing was that they never noticed, and used to write things like "Satisfactory" in my report.

My eldest has a weird knee condition. She was banned from all sports because her teachers couldn't cope with her doctors instructions that she should only do what she felt able to do at the time, but if she felt able to join in it wouldn't do her any harm. School reports? Performs well and a good team player!!!
Every time for 3 years.

[Laura]

I won the shot-put competition every year - Like Bunny, it was because I was taller than everyone else, and had longer arms than everyone else, and basically, if I just reached over the edge of the circle and dropped the thing, I'd pretty much be the winner.